While there are many good online sex games to play, there’s even more bad ones. Some of these games are so ridiculous that it may seem like the only appeal they have to them is showing nude girls — and while that is good, that’s not enough to keep you interested in playing!
Why play a shitty game that only shows nude girls getting fucked when you can sit back, relax, and beat your meat to that in any other porn video? When you’re looking for free sex games, it’s because you want the experience of playing an actual game while also seeing porn.
When you’re looking to play your new favorite sex game, here are nine of them that you should totally avoid at all costs because of how bad they are.
1. Pokemon Go-Go
Believe it or not, a Pokemon parody sex-game exists online.
The creators of this game have taken the poor, innocent creatures from our favorite childhood show into pesty monsters that are distracting people from seeing the Go-Go Girls at the nightclub they’re visiting. Your goal in this game is to blast them away — why would you want to do that to Pikachu?? Plus, you don’t even get to have sex in this game, all you’re doing is managing the stray Pokemon and watching girls dance.
2. Pizza Boy Ultimate
First of all, your character is probably the least desirable person to be placed in their shoes and imitate their persona — a pizza delivery boy.
In this game, you’re delivering pizzas to your clients by any means, and fighting off criminals in the sky.
Yeah, I don’t know either.
Once you deliver your pizzas to your clients, you will get rewarded in tips and sex.
3. Scary Halloween
Every bad sexy horror flick is combined into this one game.
All you are doing is laying as a “hot babe” running around in the cemetery trying to avoid being fucked by Halloween monsters.
I don’t see the appeal in this game if we’re honest.
4. The Roommate Episode 1
Once again, you’re playing as a loser guy except for this time you don’t even have a job — you’re unemployed and are desperate for money.
I thought sex games were meant to escape reality, not relive it?
Anyway, in this game, your friend hooks you up with a way to make money that just so happens to be having sex. I guess if you’ve fantasized about being a Gigolo this could be an exciting game. Otherwise, it’s a waste of time.
5. Doggy Sex
While you do get to pleasure a female in this game through multiple ways, she oddly resembles a…dog?
Unless you’re into bestiality (I hope you aren’t), this game is not only boring but a little weird. I mean, you’re sticking dildos, anal beads, and licking the pussy of pretty much a female dog.
6. Spin the Bottle
Talk about a throwback to middle school, am I right?
Why settle for childish games when you could be watching hardcore porn or at least playing a game that has that?
But in Spin the Bottle, you’re doing exactly what the game you used to play when you were a kid does — spinning a glass bottle and kissing whoever it lands on. So not only is there no hardcore sex in this game, there’s no sex at all!
7. Hot 2048 Billiards
Billiards, as we all know, is a less than exciting game. Attempting to make it worth playing by adding in random nude girls does not make it any better.
8. UFO Sex
In this game, UFO stands for Uncensored Flying Objects — they contain nude photos of hot girls. Your task is to capture as many UFOs or pay for them using bitch-coins. This game also claims to have “fantasy sex like never before,” given you’re in space, but the graphics and control of this game make it very lame.
9. Flying Ass
This is probably the most ridiculous game on this list — a literal flying ass is orbiting the screen, and your job is to shoot at it with your dick. To move onto the next levels by pushing your dick into her pussy, the girl with the ass of terror will begin to take off her clothes.